THE SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL AND UNSUCCESSFUL MEDIATORS
The key to mediator success lies in developing rapport with the
disputing parties.
If the
mediator is unable to develop rapport, it matters little how proficient the
mediator is with the many tactics that are espoused in the mediation literature
and taught in mediator training--success in bringing disputing parties to a
resolution of their dispute is unlikely.
This conclusion emanates from surveying experienced mediators on
how they accounted for their successes. The overwhelming response given by more
than 75% of the respondents was that the key element in successful mediation is
developing rapport with the parties….
The final sample consists of 30 mediators, 28 of whom have
mediated at least 100 disputes, and two who have mediated more than 50 but less
than 100 disputes. The mediators who make up the final sample are thus
described as experienced…
RESULTS: BUILDING RAPPORT
As noted, the overwhelming majority of the mediators--more than 75
percent-- stated that a central reason for their success was their ability to
develop rapport with the disputing parties: a relationship of understanding,
empathy, and trust
The mediators' comments in this study are based upon their own
personal observations and reflections. Certainly, the disputants or outside
observers might view the mediators' activities in a different light, as the
following excerpt from the research literature indicates:
Some years ago, my colleague
... did an analysis of some [30] successfully mediated cases. ... First [he]
asked the mediators ... to explain what they did to bring about success. Then
he asked the parties in the same cases what they actually observed the
mediators doing. The mediators ... gave elaborate explanations of strategies,
timing, and tactics. "We identified how we went about conducting our
conflict analyses and circumscribing issues to be worked on. We deciphered the
breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the windows of opportunity both lost and found.
The participants in our cases had a very different view. The only thing they
recalled us doing was opening the room, making coffee, and getting everyone
introduced."
Adler, P. "Unintentional Excellence: An Exploration of
Mastery and Incompetence," in "Bringing Peace Into the Room,"
edited by D. Bowling and D. Hoffman (Jossey-Bass 2003).
A LONG PERSPECTIVE
Why is it so important to establish a relationship of trust and
confidence with the parties? The primary
reason, according to the mediators, is that such a relationship encourages the
parties to communicate more fully with the mediator, often providing the
mediator with the information he or she needs to help the parties craft a
settlement:
Some research supports the importance of enhancing the mediator's credibility and the
trust that the disputants place in him or her. William H. Ross and Carole
Wieland suggest that "credibility-enhancing activities ... serve a doubly
useful purpose: not only do such activities give the mediators the credibility
to offer suggestions designed to resolve the dispute, they may also create a
climate where the parties trust the mediator, allowing the mediator to attempt
relationship building between the parties. ..." Ross, W. and Wieland, C.,
"Effects of Interpersonal Trust and Time Pressure on Managerial Mediation
Strategy in a Simulated Organizational Dispute," Journal of Applied Psychology 81: 228-248 (1996).
But a more open communication with the parties is not the only
advantage of a trust relationship:
That relationship gives
each party comfort and confidence that I can "explain" their position
to the other party.
At the end, when I am
pushing hard and may have to say, "I just don't think you are going to get
that," this trust means that I am believed and not seen as a tool of the
other side.
In view of the importance of a trust relationship with the
parties, what can the mediator do to bring about such a relationship? Here,
too, a substantial majority of the mediators agreed that the key lies in
empathic listening, which conveys the message that the mediator truly cares
about the parties' feelings, needs, and concerns.
Finally, some mediators thought that a key element in their
success at developing rapport with the parties was their own reputation for
being honest, ethical, and trustworthy.
CREATING SOLUTIONS
While an empathic, trusting relationship between the mediator and
the parties may be the most important factor in creating an environment for
settlement, it will not in itself lead to a settlement. Kenneth Kressel and
Dean G. Pruitt refer to the development of rapport as a "reflexive"
tactic, designed to orient mediators to the dispute and to create a foundation
for their future activities. Kressel, K. and Pruitt, D.G. "Themes in the Mediation
of Social Conflict," Journal of Social Issues, 41(2): 179-198 (1985).
Accordingly, the next question is, "What does the mediator
who has developed rapport with the parties do to move those parties toward
settlement?"
Foremost among the tactics thought by the mediators in this study
to be central to their success--once they had achieved rapport--was their
ability to generate novel or creative
solutions to the dispute.
Fourteen of the 30 mediators, just under 50%, referred to this as
one of their central strengths or techniques. Some mediators attributed this
ability to inherent creativity on their part:
Other mediators attribute their ability to develop creative
solutions to careful listening:
Some mediators commented on the importance of attributing the
mediator's creative settlement ideas to the parties.
Two other tactics that were frequently cited as effective ways of
moving disputing parties toward settlement were using humor to reduce tension
and combining patience and tenacity to continue to encourage settlement even
after one or both of the parties have become
convinced that settlement is impossible:
The other settlement tactics that were mentioned by at least 10%
of the responding mediators were:
(1) focusing the parties
on the consequences of not settling ("I try to give each party--or help
them develop for themselves--both a practical and, as appropriate, an emotional
context for evaluating the intangible and tangible costs of either continuing
or settling the dispute");
(2) pushing the parties
toward settlement only at the appropriate moment ("Timing in mediation is
critical, and it is the hardest thing to explain. I feel you must have some
innate sense of when to push and when to back off." "In my view,
successful mediation resolutions are also driven by a sense of timing. ...
Timing in this context includes knowing when to be more directive than
facilitative ...; knowing when to test the strength of the parties' resolve;
and knowing when to intervene, e.g., presenting a mediator's proposal for
resolution");
(3) assisting the parties
to understand each other's needs ("I translate between the parties,
explain each to the other.")("I try very hard to help people
understand a conflict from the perspective of the person with whom they are in
conflict, but not by directly telling them what that perspective is. This is
achieved through selective questioning");
(4) maintaining an
outwardly optimistic attitude toward the likelihood of settlement in order to
encourage the parties to keep working on a settlement ("I always convey
optimism, until I think they'd benefit from pessimism").